Wednesday was #Nationalbubblebathday and I ran a poll on Instagram, asking my followers how their self-care was at the moment.
I was shocked at the results- at the time of writing this, 71% of you voted that some self care was way overdue and that really got me worried!
AbiDashery is all about feeling good, empowering yourself and sharing your light with the world! You definitely can't do that if you're not taking care of yourself, to quote Katrina Mayer - "Loving yourself isn't vanity- it's sanity!"
So if you feel like you're running on empty and know you've been neglecting yourself of late, here are my 5 ways to add more self care to your world:
1) GET OUTSIDE
My illness means I'm often housebound and the accumulative effect of this makes my mood really low and my anxiety really high. Getting out and being in nature is the only thing that counteracts that for me and even though it can take me days to physically recover from a 30 minute walk - it's always worth it for the uplifting effect it has on my mood and mental health.
The winter season is my favourite because the elements make me feel so alive - rain refreshes and invigorates, wind blows the cobwebs away and snow transforms me into an inquisitive child in a winter wonderland.
The World Wide Fund for Nature is running a campaign to promote a 'prescription for nature' and they say "based on scientific evidence 20 minutes a day in nature can reduce anxiety and boost mood."
If you have issues with mobility, just try sitting outside, observing the birds and plants and see how much better it makes you feel.
2) NO SCREENS
So often I'll sit down with the intention of having some me-time.
Coffee in my favourite mug, a book I'm dying to read, comfy chair, cat on my lap - all the elements are there but I'll start scrolling on my phone and before I know it, an hour has passed, the coffee is cold, and I'm more wound up than I was at the start. There's only one way I've found to stop this happening and that's to put your phone on silent in another room when you're planning to dedicate some time to yourself - trust me- if you don't, you inevitably will find yourself unconsciously reaching for it. I know at times a device can be useful for audio books or relaxing music but I'm so old school I still listen to CDs and cassettes (yes they still exist) to avoid the temptation to scroll.
3) REVISIT YOUR CHILDHOOD
I do this when I'm feeling overwhelmed and struggling to slow myself down internally and it really works for me in terms of unwinding and easing my racing brain.
It's really simple- watch a favourite film from your childhood. (I realise this could slightly break the no screens rule but to avoid any scrolling I advise choosing and cueing up the film ahead of time and putting your device on 'do not disturb' while you watch the film).
Choose a real feel-good story that always gave you the warm fuzzies as a child, get cosy somewhere you won't be disturbed or distracted and have your favourite snacks to hand.
Going back to a more simplistic time when our lives weren't ruled by devices and becoming immersed in a fantasy world is really therapeutic and I find it really calms and grounds me.
My favourite movies when I feel like some escaping back to my childhood are:
Home Alone, Danny DeVito's, Matilda and Overboard starring a very young and very beautiful Goldie Hawn.
4) SAYING NO
Saying yes when I mean no is one of the most harmful ways I neglect myself and it took me years to realise this - as my life coach is always telling me - 'you can't pour from an empty cup' and that's something I learned the hard way. I always told myself that by putting others first, I was being a good person but I was actually making myself sick. Saying no was so difficult for me because I always loved to help, always wanted to make other people happy and - truth time? - I wanted to be liked!
Over time this got me to a place where I was overwhelmed, exhausted and eventually, diagnosed with M.E.
These days I say no a lot more, I'm still a kind person, I'll still go out of my way to help if I can but I know my limitations now and I'm not afraid to say no when I mean no.
American psychologist Thema Davis says, "Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to people and things that stress me out" and I totally agree with her.
5) SUPER-CHARGED BATH TIME
My Wednesday night bubble bath is what kicked this whole thing off in the first place so here's my secret to a supercharged bathing experience!
I recommend running a bath using some luxurious products, lighting some scented candles and switching off from the world for some good relaxation time but when I really want to de-stress and calm my system I add Epsom Salts or Magnesium flakes to my bath and this has a real positive effect on my anxiety and nervous system (and I usually get a really good nights sleep afterwards too).
I add around 2-3 cups of Epsom salts/magnesium flakes to my bath, it has an almost instant calming effect that tends to last for hours afterwards. For someone like me with M.E. and anxiety it's an essential part of my well-being routine but it's also great for muscle recovery after exercise too or to reset your system if you're going through something stressful and can't wind down.
(I'm not medically trained, this is just advice that works for me, always do your own research and/or speak to a doctor before using epsom salts if you have any health complaints or worries or are pregnant).